Logging In Problems

Tell (and write to them)  (be polite), stating that you are having lots of problems with logging in – they will be pretty overwhelmed with that problem and used to it.

They will put a record on their system and may even call you back although if you have, quite rightly, refused access to them, they won’t be able to help.  The User ID and the complicated password system is a right pain.  If you don’t know your User ID, you could ring up the DWP and they will forward you another by post, which can take several days! This is supposed to be ‘for security’. However, as the jobsmatch is not compulsory, they just want evidence that you are using it (if it is part of your Agreement) so print a few copies of jobs on Gov.uk  and if you are at a job club, get them to sign the copies as well as an extra to show you are actively looking.


Satirical Jobseeker Tweets

Jobseeker: “There’s a recommended engineering job on a nuclear power station. I am only a cleaner.  I have been told to go for it as within an hour.”


Job Club Leader “The real reason why you didn’t get an interview, is because you didn’t use blue laid paper for your CV”.


Job Club Leader “Tip:Never put reading or other solitary pursuits on your CV as it means you are not a team player. Employers hate people who read.”

Very well qualified jobs seeker: Why didn’t I get the job?

Interviewer: You didn’t look me in the eye, we didn’t think you would fit in (stupid true case)


Job Seeker “As a creative person with purple tinted hair, I’m going to wear a brunette wig for my office job interview.”


Jobseeker told to go on two CV courses a week, no doubt the second course will re-do the  ‘terrible’ CV


Jobseeker: Why didn’t I  get the job?

Interview: We didn’t think you could work in a team?

Jobseeker: Oh you mean I forgot to say in my interests, that I am work as a Special Constable.

Job Growth …. of Satirists

The ever increasing tricks and punishments dished out to those who are out-of-work is the ideal stomping ground for satirists.

For example, on Twitter  @UK_JCP  has sprung up. The fledgling account is known as Job Centre Plebs and it states that it is ‘a satirical/spoof account highlighting the sorry state of UK employment and benefits’.

In edition to this, the penal system encourages a growth of writers and artists, not to mention social historians.

Satirists may go freelance and send their DWP stories and cartoons to, say, Private Eye magazine.

I have suggested to Private Eye that they have a weekly Universal  Mismatch column because of the superb schemes and eye watering stories that the DWP can wildy think up to cleanse ‘Jeremy Kyle watching scroungers’ off the system. You can find them on Twitter: @Private Eyenews and their email is strobes@private-eye.co.uk.

There is nothing stopping Job Centre staff doing the same under a pen name. I know that some Job Centre staff are writers in their spare time. They are also victims as they’re just being bullied by the system.  As job centres close, they also willl also end up in the penal system. It is just a matter of time.They will also get the brunt of it, being on the front line with no no hard glass to protect them.

However, writing and art is discouraged lby the DWP. They won’t fund  courses, and just want people to work in offices where jobs are now becoming few and far between as office close down.

Not only do they refuse to fund these, they won’t fund useful courses in agriculture and horticulture. I know people who have been turned down for funding when they wanted to be a self-employed tree surgeon (and they had been offered a job once they were qualified). Level 2 Horticultural qualifications are not being funded even though in rural areas, there are a lot of nurseries and less office jobs. If people don’t fit an office job, then they remain out-of-work even longer. Herefordshire has one of the highest unemployment figuresin this country.

Westminster Council wants charity soup kitchens to be banned and the homeless removed. It is all getting a bit crazy.

But the lack of logic just fuels satirists, there is just no end to the heavy handed  nonsensical regime.

So if you are a writer, cartoonist, artist, filmaker, budding politican, this is your time.

Keep your job rejections, they could make an interesting origami art project an art exhibition, and afterwards you can use it to make a fire for your heating.

Silence from the Job Centre

Job Centre’s can be very quiet on how useless Universal Job Mismatch is. They’re always trying to blow its trumpet (although privately cursing about it) and probably getting fed up with people constantly asking about it.  You see loads of Jobcentres, for example, promoting Universal Jobmatch on Twitter. Give them some feedback. If you’re lucky, they will have so many complaints about it and have to admit there’s a prob’em.

Of course, if you have problems with the site, they may make it feel like it is a ‘one off’ so ‘keep trying’. I want people to realise that there are major teething problems and the lack of vetting and security makes it virtually unusable.

If you go the Job Centre explain how hard it is to use and how you have seen a programme on Channel 4 about identity theft.  Complain to your MP. Even let your CAB know about this too, so they have lots of case files and can push this fiasco upwards as part of a larger organisation. Contact local charities that may be helping you get a job, they also may not understand the site either and will want to know what the Government is doing about the site to combat identity theft (and worse).

Universal job match problems


1) The site can be difficult and complicated to log in. It has a  6 mix letter and numerical password and an 11 number User ID ie 973456527897. Some claimants waste a lot of their job seeking time, just trying to log in. Some have to ask people to help.

2) Universal Jobmatch suggests jobs that are over two and half hours away from home. The recommended time is one hour travel. Why are these being recommended?  If a claimant has no car or doesn’t drive, they can’t get there anyway, especially, if there is no public transport.

If there is no public transport, they could walk or cycle, but the commuting route may include a 70mph bypass where there are no pavements, cycle paths or lighting, particularly in the winter. The road could also have a high car crash rate. Yet, the DWP are recommending these jobs. The walk could take three hours each way.

3) Skills levels  mentioned in the recommended jobs may require a Masters Degree yet the claimant may only have GSCE.

4) Some jobs ask for a young person but the Claimant is over 40.

3) There is a personal safety element. Claimants often don’t know the full address of the employers on Universal Job Search.  Some job claimants don’t feel that they are even vetted properly.

4. There is a risk of Identity Theft as seen on Channel 4’s recent news coverage (see links). It wouldn’t surprise me that there is even a risk of burglary as job interviews may say when they are interviewing and details of it may be online.

5. There over 6000 spammers using the site, including jobs as sex workers.

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